Storms, Circumstances, & Evacuations

I was blessed yesterday to visit a friend from long ago and watch my daughter play with her children. It was a sweet occasion especially after a disappointing performance in the Zoo Zoom and a minor fender bender on the way. While appoaching a red light, looking at the map on my phone, I bumped the car in front of me. Praise God, it wasn’t a pedestrian or bicyclist. The damage appeared to be minimal, the driver received my apology for interupting her day most graciously, and I received a needed lesson on attention at the wheel. Earlier this week, I was ticketed for driving 30 in a school zone. I told the officer I was sure I’d slowed down when I passed the sign and suggested his detector was improperly distanced. I was sure, at the time, especially since the driver in the other lane also pulled over apparently had the same argument. The next day I cringed wondering if I’d slowed down at the overhead sign instead of the street sign some 300 feet further back. I thank the Lord for training all the time. Even if someone could somehow prove to me that all events in my life were random coincidence, I would still praise God for the work He does in my heart and in my attitude. Psalm 89 reads, “I will declare that your love stands firm forever, that you have established your faithfulness in heaven itself” (v2). Undoubtedly, the Lord has established His faithfullness in my spirit. What naturally flows out of me is generally blended with suspicion, accusation, and a bit of self-centered paranoia. Looking for a thought pattern void of that is a semi-litmus test for me as I try to write what is from or would please the Holy Spirit.

Actually, just driving to the friends house is a pillar of personal testimony. Over the years, drugs and alcohol worked havoc on my mind and spirit; towards the end, I was such a nervous wreck, I frequently felt unsafe in my surroundings and responded in various bizarre ways which often included fleeing. A few years after my deliverance, while meeting someone for lunch in a nearby city where he’d established residence, I became anxious around the neighbors we ate with, insisted we depart, and, at his suggestion, ended the afternoon by leaving him carless at a local restaurant. Having my toddler with me contributed to my cotton mouth & panic, but it might have gone down the same without her. Several times since then, I’ve struggled against similar symptoms with varying levels of success. Yesterday, our destination was a house on a two lane highway south of Gonzales. I might have declined the invitation with one excuse or another, but she’s a believer, a friendly face from my past, and I’m interested in joining her Kairos ministry team. Following the fender bender, I was glad she invited us to arrive late since a missed opportunity after the accident and a Zoo Zoom time longer than what I’d hoped for would have made for a unhappy day.

In Numbers, the Lord sets apart the tribe of Levi to care for the tabernacle: “The Levites are mine, for all the firstborn are mine. When I struck down all the firstborn in Egypt, I set apart for myself every firstborn in Israel, whether human or animal” (v12-13). Our God is holy: whole not partial. He shows His mercy and love to the chosen nation by singling out a tribe to redeem the firstborn of Israel rather than separating families. The numbers are taken, and accounting is done to ensure the process is fair and complete. Psalm 89 continues,“Righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne; love and faithfulness go before you” (v14). Numbers 3 begins by recounting Aaron’s loss of his two firstborn, the priests who mishandled the offering. Numbers 4 and other related chapters detail how the Levites are to move and maintain all the articles in the tabernacle. The instructions are specific. The other tribes depend on their redeemer to follow them with care. What compels later generations to give proper attention to lampstands and utensils? I love how Ray Stedman defines our concept of justice: “It is impossible for human beings to be more just than God, because our very sense of justice is derived from Him!..It is impossible for human beings to be more compassionate than God, for our feelings of compassion come from Him.” (Adventuring Through the Bible, ch32). Seeking to understand scripture is so fulfilling because it is already in my spirit. Revelation of the Word is like rediscovering a beautiful friendship.

Jesus says of the woman who finds a lost coin, “there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents” (Luke 15:10). Lord, I am sorry for the choices I’ve made that disregard your teachings. Thank-you for your work in me to rebuild faith and correct what does not represent you or glorify your Son. Reading about lives lost and the beating the East is taking from Irene, I pray that all suffering look for reminders of God’s goodness. I pray believers are comforted by the Holy Spirit and able to minister to others. Jesus, help people in distress receive joy knowing you, our redeemer, followed instructions with care, so we can rightfully hope for a permanent home in heaven. Lord, as people are confronted by flooding and storm damage, let the articles of faith maintained by your believers outshine what is destroyed. Enable restoration of trust in those jaded by trials and circumstances of whatever kind. “Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim you, who walk in the light of your presence, LORD. They rejoice in your name all day long; they celebrate your righteousness” (Psalm 89:15-16).

Gifts of God: Legs, Hips, and Feet

The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD” (Proverbs 21:31).

Yesterday, I looked for Low Carb Monster sodas but only saw some pricey Sugarfree Red Bulls. Less fond of Red Bull, I opted for the cheaper 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew which is what I should have looked for anyway on my current budget. Praise God for bringing me to WalMart instead of Winn-Dixie. I appreciate quality and often think the upgrade is worthwhile, but I don’t need a $20 vs a $5 caffeine fix now. I’m drinking the sodas because I’m a little more tired than usual while training for a 5K. Around the time I was reborn in Christ, I ran frequently. Even then, I spent too much on energy gels and things of the like. That running effort wasn’t a long season, but I enjoyed it much, and recently, towards the end of a 40 day liquid fast, I was moved to register for the Zoo Zoom. One of the things I’d been praying about was whether or not to keep my daughter in dance especially since she wasn’t thrilled with it. She had minimal gymnastics exposure and wasn’t too excited about that either. I want her to be active and develop a hobby but didn’t know what we should try next. We took swimming lessons during the summer, and I’d been considering piano lessons. In the last week or two of my fast, I found a music teacher, was gifted with a piano, and joined the Y. I don’t expect to register for many more races this fall, but the treadmill workouts have been so much fun. I thank the Lord for this opportunity; do I show my appreciation by throwing away $15 on deluxe caffeine supplements again? Psalm 78 recounts the Israelite’s tribulations following their deliverance from Egypt: “They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. They spoke against God; they said, ‘Can God really spread a table in the wilderness?’” (v18-19). Looking for the Low Carb Monster drinks, I did not intend to speak against God, but I don’t want my choices to undermine His glory.

Luke 8 tells of Jesus healing a desert man bound by a legion of demons (v26 – 39) and raising a man’s daughter from the dead (v40-56). Jesus tells the man freed from demons, “Return to your home, and declare how much God has done for you.” Three paragraphs later, after the dead child’s spirit returned, He tells her parents to be silent about this great miracle (v56). What? Tell no one? Earlier Jesus talked to His disciples about the Word of God as seed that bears fruit and said light is meant for all to see. “Take care then how you hear, for to the one who has, more will be given, and from the one who has not, even what he thinks that he has will be taken away” (v18). Those who lived among the possessed man knew a miracle occured and were frightened of the power of God at work: “all the people of the surrounding country..asked him to depart from them, for they were seized with great fear” (v37). Maybe because they heard and believed, more faith will be given as the freed man’s testimony is preached.

While Jesus leaves with Jairus, whose daughter is ill, a woman is healed of a life long blood disease by touching His robe. Jesus demands she identify herself and commends her faith in front of the crowd. Jairus’ neighbors know Jesus but are quick to discourage the father with news of his daughter’s death. Jesus returns with Jairus, telling the crowd not to weep. “And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead” (v53). Jairus’ neighbors know Jesus has authority; they said, “Your daughter is dead; do not trouble the Teacher any more” (v49). Sometimes when I think I’m showing respect for the Lord, my lack of faith shines brighter. Jesus says, “nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light” (v17). Maybe the girl’s parents were told to be silent because doubting Jairus’ testimony could shed what faith their community thought they had.

Proverbs 21 reads “There is no wisdom, understanding, or advice that can succeed against the Lord” (v30). The good news is that our God is merciful. Psalm 78 ends with David shepherding the people. The Lord chose David His servant and took him from the sheep pens…to be the shepherd of His people..His inheritance” (v70-71). In Leviticus 14, rituals for treatment of skin disorders and assorted ailments are described. People cleansed of leprosy are to bring three lambs, grain, and oil for offerings, but an allowance is made for the poor: one lamb, two birds, grain, and oil. “This is the law for him in whom is a case of leprous disease, who cannot afford the offerings for his cleansing” (v32). Praise Jesus who gives us every opportunity to join with Him in Spirit whether we are rich or poor, walking in fear of God or distracted by worldy favors. Our Savior does not scorn our shortcomings but puts His light on a stand so all may see (Luke 8:16). Putting the Word of God on a stand may mean moving some things aside that could hinder His work. The Son of God was born in flesh and bore the cross so we may be reunited with our Father. We cannot afford the offerings for our cleansing. Lord, I thank you for patiently arranging my circumstances to let me better view your light. I pray for understanding to follow the path that best reveals your glory. You are an awesome God!

And He was told, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see you.” But He answered them, “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and do it” (Luke 8:20-21).

Driven by God’s Goodness

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

In Mark 9, the father of a boy stricken by convulsions asks Jesus to help if he can. The Lord says, “If you can!”, and the father’s desperation fuels his need to believe. Yesterday I was reminded once again how strongly music can influence me. I have a couple iPOD shuffles that I use when mowing the lawn or doing chores sometimes, but I don’t update them often. Right now, a lot of my music is on an external hard drive that I may need a new power cord for & iTunes starts up very slowly on my home laptop. But in the last few weeks, I started using my exercise bike and wanted some of the variety I hear in my car, so I managed to get one reloaded. I truly believe cutting out most secular music from my listening range has helped me spiritually more than I can even know. Reading and meditating on the Word daily is what I usually point to first, but come to think of it, I changed my music before I really started meditating on and receiving from the Word. So, who knows, but on my reloaded iShuffle, I put on a country song from a secular Grammy CD that I listen to on repeat occasionally. It’s not worship, but the lyrics include the line, “You know there’s gonna be a judgement day,” so praise God for secular music that acknowledges eternity in some way. As I started exercising more, I wanted more variety and found an old iPOD touch loaded with mostly Christian music. It holds one of the first “Christian music” iTunes lists I created several years ago when I was trying to work the old music out of my life, a process that took over 6 months, as long or longer than I spent on Suboxone a few years before. The iPOD touch Christian list includes “Wasted” by Carrie Underwood and another country song I won’t mention. It’s not particularly vulgar, but it’s highly suggestive. The first time I listened to the list last week, I wondered if I would skip the questionable song while mowing the lawn. The battery ran out before it played. It runs after one of my favorite Nicole Nordeman songs, “This Mystery,” and after missing it a couple more times, last night I consciously opted to skip it while on my exercise bike. It seems like such a minor thing since I hear all kinds of music in the stores and other places, but after moving on to the next song, I thought choosing not to have that song blare into my ears was a good idea. Not because it’s evil or the person singing it is any worse sinner than I, but nothing wholesome or appreciative of the Holy Spirit could possibly run through my mind while hearing it.

Jesus says, “And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched’” (Mark 9:47-48). I think I used the same quote from Matthew in a another recent blog entry, and I am glad to read again the reminder to guard my mind & my heart. Proverbs 7 reads, “So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery” (v21). So much of secular entertainment attempts to seduce us with lyrics or images that flatter and stir our passion in an unholy manner. The preceding passage where Jesus rids the boy of demons also says so much about our need for a clean spirit. The father tells Jesus, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid” (Mark 9:17-18). Ungodly thoughts, including animosity, illicit romance, and other self exalting fabrications, mute our ability to talk to our God in prayer or worship Him in spirit and in truth. I may not foam at the mouth or grind my teeth, but as my heart becomes rigid, set in my ways or unresponsive to the Word of God, I am less in tune to the Holy Spirit and outside the peace that passes understanding. Jesus approaches the boy, and “when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground” (Mark 9:20). The ungodly spirits we have around us, in our thought patterns, in our vision, in our hearing, try to convulse us when we get around the Spirit of Christ. When I first went back to church several years ago, worship was often a terrible exercise in maintaining focus. Except for an occasional emotional moment, my mind was everywhere but on seeking the Lord in sincerity and truth. Today, praise Jesus, the presence of the Lord in worship often floods me with perfect peace, but at other times, the battle persists.

“Jesus asked his father, ‘How long has this been happening to him?’ And he said, ‘From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him’” (Mark 9:21-22). From childhood, most of us are exposed to things that seek to destroy our relationship with the Lord, driving us to an eternity in hell if we never accept the gift of the cross. Psalm 53 reads “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’ (Psalm 53:1). Just this morning while reading the Word, a thought wrestled with that unbeliever door in my mind. One little unwelcome thought, if entertained too long, threatens to shut me down with the question, “Is God real?” An array of suspicions attempt to convulse my thinking and throw my faith to the fire. At such moments, I am so grateful the Holy Spirit has moved me away from much of the music and TV that reject the authority of God. What will I invite to join with my spirit? Shall I revel in the depravity of man or in what glorifies Christ my Savior? David wrote, “Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life” (Psalm 54:4). Of course, secular entertainment is everywhere. I recently started reading Isaac’s Storm by Erik Larson. I let my preschooler take dance twice a week last year, and lately we spend a lot of time exercising at the Y. In the last month or so, I’ve spent hours on the phone giving not so holy testimony to a friend in need. Music always has moved my spirit, though, so I must be particularly cautious of it. These other things, I have to examine to see whether they will draw me away from God or enable me reach out to others with the love of Jesus. The demonized boy’s father said, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22). Struggling with faith even in the presence of the Lord might be common and is certainly no reason to give up the fight when the question of eternity stands before us. “And Jesus said to him, ‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes’” (Mark 9:23).

Lord, I thank you for your guidance. Help all struggling with belief make decisions daily that fuel their faith, squelching the voices of the flesh and of the enemy. Give courage to new believers to demonstrate their belief and ask for more. Help us reject what denies your supremacy and distracts us from your direction. With a freewill offering I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O LORD, for it is good” (Psalm 54:6). Lord, you have delivered me from every trouble (Psalm 54:7)! Enable me to extend your love to those who lack your Spirit. Your marvelous hand is available to all your children. Help me see the need and prompt me with words to speak. Lord, you say some spirits can only be driven out by prayer and fasting. Hear our prayers for your will to be done in the lives of our loved ones, and let the oppressed be delivered as we fast and lift your name in worship.

And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose (Mark 9:26-27).