Driven by God’s Goodness

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

In Mark 9, the father of a boy stricken by convulsions asks Jesus to help if he can. The Lord says, “If you can!”, and the father’s desperation fuels his need to believe. Yesterday I was reminded once again how strongly music can influence me. I have a couple iPOD shuffles that I use when mowing the lawn or doing chores sometimes, but I don’t update them often. Right now, a lot of my music is on an external hard drive that I may need a new power cord for & iTunes starts up very slowly on my home laptop. But in the last few weeks, I started using my exercise bike and wanted some of the variety I hear in my car, so I managed to get one reloaded. I truly believe cutting out most secular music from my listening range has helped me spiritually more than I can even know. Reading and meditating on the Word daily is what I usually point to first, but come to think of it, I changed my music before I really started meditating on and receiving from the Word. So, who knows, but on my reloaded iShuffle, I put on a country song from a secular Grammy CD that I listen to on repeat occasionally. It’s not worship, but the lyrics include the line, “You know there’s gonna be a judgement day,” so praise God for secular music that acknowledges eternity in some way. As I started exercising more, I wanted more variety and found an old iPOD touch loaded with mostly Christian music. It holds one of the first “Christian music” iTunes lists I created several years ago when I was trying to work the old music out of my life, a process that took over 6 months, as long or longer than I spent on Suboxone a few years before. The iPOD touch Christian list includes “Wasted” by Carrie Underwood and another country song I won’t mention. It’s not particularly vulgar, but it’s highly suggestive. The first time I listened to the list last week, I wondered if I would skip the questionable song while mowing the lawn. The battery ran out before it played. It runs after one of my favorite Nicole Nordeman songs, “This Mystery,” and after missing it a couple more times, last night I consciously opted to skip it while on my exercise bike. It seems like such a minor thing since I hear all kinds of music in the stores and other places, but after moving on to the next song, I thought choosing not to have that song blare into my ears was a good idea. Not because it’s evil or the person singing it is any worse sinner than I, but nothing wholesome or appreciative of the Holy Spirit could possibly run through my mind while hearing it.

Jesus says, “And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into hell, ‘where their worm does not die and the fire is not quenched’” (Mark 9:47-48). I think I used the same quote from Matthew in a another recent blog entry, and I am glad to read again the reminder to guard my mind & my heart. Proverbs 7 reads, “So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery” (v21). So much of secular entertainment attempts to seduce us with lyrics or images that flatter and stir our passion in an unholy manner. The preceding passage where Jesus rids the boy of demons also says so much about our need for a clean spirit. The father tells Jesus, “Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid” (Mark 9:17-18). Ungodly thoughts, including animosity, illicit romance, and other self exalting fabrications, mute our ability to talk to our God in prayer or worship Him in spirit and in truth. I may not foam at the mouth or grind my teeth, but as my heart becomes rigid, set in my ways or unresponsive to the Word of God, I am less in tune to the Holy Spirit and outside the peace that passes understanding. Jesus approaches the boy, and “when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground” (Mark 9:20). The ungodly spirits we have around us, in our thought patterns, in our vision, in our hearing, try to convulse us when we get around the Spirit of Christ. When I first went back to church several years ago, worship was often a terrible exercise in maintaining focus. Except for an occasional emotional moment, my mind was everywhere but on seeking the Lord in sincerity and truth. Today, praise Jesus, the presence of the Lord in worship often floods me with perfect peace, but at other times, the battle persists.

“Jesus asked his father, ‘How long has this been happening to him?’ And he said, ‘From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him’” (Mark 9:21-22). From childhood, most of us are exposed to things that seek to destroy our relationship with the Lord, driving us to an eternity in hell if we never accept the gift of the cross. Psalm 53 reads “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God’ (Psalm 53:1). Just this morning while reading the Word, a thought wrestled with that unbeliever door in my mind. One little unwelcome thought, if entertained too long, threatens to shut me down with the question, “Is God real?” An array of suspicions attempt to convulse my thinking and throw my faith to the fire. At such moments, I am so grateful the Holy Spirit has moved me away from much of the music and TV that reject the authority of God. What will I invite to join with my spirit? Shall I revel in the depravity of man or in what glorifies Christ my Savior? David wrote, “Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life” (Psalm 54:4). Of course, secular entertainment is everywhere. I recently started reading Isaac’s Storm by Erik Larson. I let my preschooler take dance twice a week last year, and lately we spend a lot of time exercising at the Y. In the last month or so, I’ve spent hours on the phone giving not so holy testimony to a friend in need. Music always has moved my spirit, though, so I must be particularly cautious of it. These other things, I have to examine to see whether they will draw me away from God or enable me reach out to others with the love of Jesus. The demonized boy’s father said, “But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22). Struggling with faith even in the presence of the Lord might be common and is certainly no reason to give up the fight when the question of eternity stands before us. “And Jesus said to him, ‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes’” (Mark 9:23).

Lord, I thank you for your guidance. Help all struggling with belief make decisions daily that fuel their faith, squelching the voices of the flesh and of the enemy. Give courage to new believers to demonstrate their belief and ask for more. Help us reject what denies your supremacy and distracts us from your direction. With a freewill offering I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O LORD, for it is good” (Psalm 54:6). Lord, you have delivered me from every trouble (Psalm 54:7)! Enable me to extend your love to those who lack your Spirit. Your marvelous hand is available to all your children. Help me see the need and prompt me with words to speak. Lord, you say some spirits can only be driven out by prayer and fasting. Hear our prayers for your will to be done in the lives of our loved ones, and let the oppressed be delivered as we fast and lift your name in worship.

And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, “He is dead.” But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose (Mark 9:26-27).